Homesickness

Homesickness is something you may never have experienced. Yet any one of us is liable to know its baleful effects the moment we leave the place of our birth or upbringing or anywhere where we have spent a great deal of time. Like other longings, it soon passes in most cases but some can be troubled with it, at least from time to time, for many years.

The longing may be for a beloved country as when the exiles from Israel sat and wept when they remembered Zion (see Psalm 137). Or like David, we may be homesick for something more specific. In the midst of battle he remembered the well at Bethlehem and longed to drink from it (2 Samuel 23:15).

Whatever it centres on, homesickness can be distressing and uncomfortable. It often meets with little sympathy, except from fellow sufferers. What is homesickness? It is a form of nostalgia. The word nostalgia literally means 'returning (home) sickness'. It is broader than homesickness for it can refer to the longing to return to a certain period of time (eg one's childhood) rather than a certain place. In truth homesickness is usually a longing for both a former time and place. A mistake that those who move away from home and long to return sometimes make, especially if they make few return visits, is to fail to remember that people and places change. The picture in their heads disappears in reality. The people are older or no longer around; the buildings often alter; even the trees and hedges grow. Perhaps this is one reason why mountains, rivers and some of the other more stable aspects of nature have most power to create nostalgia.

Is nostalgia sinful? It is nowhere condemned in Scripture, but it certainly has its dangers. It is probably best to think of it as a sort of illness. Being ill is not a sin but illness can be caused by sin and those who are unwell can be self-indulgent and crave molly-coddling from others.

A number of things can be said against giving in to the temptation to indulge in nostalgia.

1. Such indulgence is futile

In Ecclesiastes 7:10 we are warned very bluntly: Do not say 'Why were the old days better than these?' For it is not wise to ask such questions. What hours can be wasted day-dreaming about days gone by and places far away. A fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth (Proverbs 17:24). Home thoughts from abroad may make good poetry but they achieve nothing.

2. Such indulgence is a form of discontentedness

In the end, indulging oneself in homesickness is simply a form of discontent. It is coveting. Such an attitude is condemned in Scripture. The general rule for the believer is that he should remain in the situation he was in when God called him (1 Corinthians 7:20). We should aim to learn what Paul had learned, to be content whatever the circumstances ... the secret of being content in any and every situation (Philippians 4:11,12). Godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). It is God who has determined the exact place where each of us shall live (Acts 17:26) and it is a sin in us to murmur at his will. Rather, we should learn to say with David, LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;... The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places ... (Psalm 16:5,6)

3. Such indulgence is inimical to the sort of self-denial to which some believers are called

Albeit with reluctance, some believers find their calling leads them away from home. Part of the call to cross-cultural missionary work is to face the likelihood of a homesickness that must be denied. Others who seek to serve the Lord faithfully wherever he may lead them will have to make the same sort of sacrifice, leaving behind the ease of where they grew up, the places which were once familiar, in order to serve the Lord where he calls. We should remember that the Lord Jesus himself not only left the glory of heaven but also the place of his birth and the place of his upbringing in order to preach the word of God. The apostle Paul, Hebrew of Hebrews as he was, nevertheless became the apostle to the Gentiles. Most of the other apostles, it would seem, served the Lord away from the scenes most familiar to them in their early days. They were often homeless (1 Corinthians 4:11). Such people have the promise of Jesus that those who leave home and family for him and the gospel will not fail to have their loss redressed in this life and know eternal life in the world to come (Mark 10:29,30). Self-denial is important in all things, for some it will mean a refusal to indulge in nostalgia.

4. Such indulgence is misdirected

What places do we feel homesick for? Well, for the place where we were born; where we belong; where father and mother and brothers and sisters are. Or to quote the proverb Home is where the heart is. Then, for what should the Christian be longing? For heaven, of course. That is where he was born (born again can also be expressed as being born from above). That is where his Father is, of course. That is where his brothers and sisters are being gathered one by one and where all will gather one day soon. That is where his heart should be (see Matthew 6:19-21). Waste no time musing on happy days of yesteryear; rather fill your mind with the glorious prospect of harvest home soon to come. That is where these feelings of yearning for home should be channelled. Paul's desire was to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far (Philippians 1:23). No matter how lovely your old home, how idyllic your childhood, how rosy your past, it cannot begin to compare with the glory to come. The Holy Spirit only enables us to begin to comprehend what is in store. Like David in 2 Samuel 23 who poured out to God the water of Bethlehem gained at risk of life and limb simply to indulge him, .so we must pour out as an offering to the Lord all our longings for past days and places. I.ike his great-grandmother, Ruth, David realised that there are more important things than home. Remember her words of devotion to Naomi after being urged to return to her people: Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

For most of us homesickness is not an issue, but for others it is a genuine problem. We pray that those who do struggle with this particular burden will know the Lord's help and strength. Remember, you can do all things through the one who gives you strength (Philippians 4:14). However lonely and far from home you may feel, the Lord will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:50. So, be content, look to the Lord and long for heaven.