This Article First Appeared in Reformation Today
As the pastor of a Baptist church, I do not baptise babies but we do give thanks for children and dedicate them to the Lord. This is normally done in the course of regular worship but due to the pandemic and other factors there was recently a Saturday morning dedication at church for a couple who are church members with two young daughters.
In the course of that meeting opportunity was taken to explain a few things, with the hope that it would be useful to the girls' mother and father and any other parents wanting to know what the Bible says about parenthood.
It was pointed out that although there are no dedication services in the Bible, the idea of dedication from birth is there. Samson in the Old Testament and John the Baptist in the New were both devoted to God from birth. Both were born to women who had previously been barren. A third such woman is Hannah, who became Samuel's mother. In 1 Samuel 1:27, 28 she says I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord. Dedication perhaps has more of an Old Testament feel in some ways but all should be well as long as we remember Proverbs 20:25, It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one's vows.
The rest of the time was spent underlining five truths all parents should know, five things best highlighted by asking questions.
To whom do all children belong?
It is important to be clear on this. From time to time nation states will give the impression that all babies born within their borders belong to them and so they can make certain decisions about them, regardless of the legal parents. But no child belongs to the state nor to the church either for that matter. Strictly speaking, they do not belong to the parents either.
So whose children are they? Psalm 127:3 states Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. All children are God's children. Of course, that is not to say that who your parents are is unimportant. It is important, as will be noted.
However, as most Christians realise and acknowledge, all children belong to God. Parents simply have the wonderful privilege of bringing them up. If God has chosen you to be a parent that is something for which to be very thankful. One day sooner than you think your children will be grown up and living their own lives. No parents are perfect but, hopefully, when they do grow up your children will be very thankful for all that you have done for them.
What is Jesus' attitude towards children?
There is a wonderful passage in Matthew 19:13-15. It says
Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
It is important to remember that in those days life expectancy was low and many children died young. In those days children were nobodies. So when people wanted to bring their children to Jesus for him to touch them and pray for them, understandably the disciples were not keen, What a waste of time, they felt. But Jesus takes the opposite view “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,” he says “for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Here he is thinking not of the innocence of children but of their weakness, If anyone is going to come to God, they must come fully aware of their weakness. And so although some may mock church services that are all about children and say, what a waste of time, Jesus is clear, he loves children and wants them to come to him. Children ought to know that Jesus loves them and wants them to come to him.
What are the four ways in which all children should grow?
Luke 2:52 says of Jesus that he grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. It is important to realise that Jesus did not come into this world fully grown. He was never a baby who could talk and do amazing things, despite what some legends suggest. No, when he was born he was just like any other baby – weak, helpless, unable to do anything for himself. However, he grew – physically and intellectually. He learned to speak and think and read and write. Also, Luke tells us, he grew in favour with God and man. He was increasingly popular with people. They liked to have him round. God the Father always loved him, of course, but as he grew and showed his willingness to submit to God and obey him, the Father loved him more and more.
Think of children you know. They are growing physically – you can see that. In most cases everything is done to help them in that way. Most parents do what they can to give their children an education too. It is important, however, that parents focus on children becoming wise. Simply stuffing their heads with facts can be counter-productive. I grew up a bit like that – Sir Walter Raleigh and potatoes, Sir Christopher Wren and St Paul's, Nelson and Trafalgar – my mother expected you to know such things. Yes, parents want their children to get good marks in school but what matters more is that they become wise. Knowledge puffs you up but if you are wise, so much the better. The Bible is full of wisdom.
And then you want children to get on with people and be useful in society, not to be oddballs. We need people like that. Further, parents must pray and do all that they can to lead their children in the right direction with regard to God. Pray that they will grow in favour with God. Nothing can do them better.
What must parents do and not do for their children?
The work of parents is summarised in Ephesians 6:4. Positively, it says Fathers, ... bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. It is fathers Paul addresses on this matter. Mothers and fathers are responsible but fathers must take the lead. Parents need to instruct their children. They need to tell them what the Bible says and teach them right from wrong and so on. And they need to train them. Parents soon learn that their children are not good automatically. It has to be worked at. Discipline is important.
And do not miss the negatives. Do not exasperate your children or provoke them. Do not make them angry. Or as he puts it in Colossians 3:21, written about the same time, Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. It is easy to make their lives hard. Do not do that. They are kids remember. They should enjoy growing up as far as that is possible. They will face plenty of heartache soon enough.
Are children with Christian parents special?
Yes, they are. No-one is normally born a Christian. We are all born sinners. Some people cannot accept the idea that children are sinners but sadly they are. Like us all, they are sinners twice over. They are sinners first in Adam. All children descend from Adam and so are born sinners, guilty in him. But then, as parents quickly discover, they are sinners in their own right too. They are quite capable of coming up with their own ways of sinning. Nevertheless, if they have parents who are Christians, then they have a tremendous privilege.
There are children growing up in this world whose parents have never heard the name of Jesus. They are at a severe disadvantage. Even in this country there are children growing up who are severely disadvantaged. Yes, their parents say that they are not biased and want to let their children make up their own minds about God and Jesus and so on. But it is not true. Atheist parents and others never talk to their children about God or urge them to keep an open mind on the subject. They try never to talk to their children about Jesus. They do not bring them to church, at least not one where they will learn the good news of sins forgiven.
How different if parents know the Lord. Paul says that children with Christian parents are holy. In 1 Corinthians 7:14, talking about a situation where one partner is a Christian and one is not, he says
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
So even if only one parent is a Christian, the child is still special, still holy. What is Paul saying? The word holy means set apart, different. A child with a Christian parent has many advantages denied to the child without one. For example,
- Such a child has parents who pray for them – not every child has that. Many have no-one to pray for them.
- Such a child will be introduced to what the Bible says – not every child has that.
- Such a child will be brought into the orbit of the church family – not every child has that.
What blessings belong to such children. No doubt those who baptise babies would want to say more on this but baptised or unbaptised, all children with at least one Christian parent are holy.
No doubt more could be said on this but these five truths are a good place to start. Such truths ought to be more widely known among God's people than perhaps they are.
